


Being Right

by TMar



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 14:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16578191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Chakotay discovers Janeway has re-created "their" planet in the holodeck.





	Being Right

**Author's Note:**

> A story from 1996. It was meant as a fix-it for the episode "Resolutions".

BEING RIGHT

Commander Chakotay of the Federation Starship Voyager stopped outside  
the holodeck and pressed the chime.

"Yes?" came a voice from inside.

"Captain, may I speak to you for a moment?" Chakotay seldom  
interrupted the Captain's holodeck time; she got so little of it that he  
felt she should be able to use it to the full. But this time, it was  
important...

"Of course, come in, Commander."

Chakotay stepped in, not sure exactly what he'd been expecting to  
find... It wasn't what he did find, certainly.

He was in a clearing with some woods a little way off, and a  
Starfleet shelter to the side. There was a bathtub outside, along with  
some equipment and a small garden to the side of the shelter.

Chakotay swallowed, knowing this place. It was their planet - well, the  
planet that would have been their home had the crew not convinced Tuvok to  
contact the Videans.

Janeway came out of the shelter with a happy look on her face. She'd  
had that look a lot on the planet, the first officer noticed. He knew it  
was the fact that on the planet she had not been 'captain' and he had  
not been 'commander'. They had just been Kathryn and Chakotay, and the  
pressures of starship life had been gone. It had been a good feeling.

"What can I do for you, Commander?" Janeway asked, drying her hands  
on a cloth. Chakotay noticed she wasn't wearing her uniform, either.

"Captain, I didn't want to talk in a formal setting. I was hoping we  
could plan some sort of celebration for Ensign Kim's birthday next week."

Janeway looked a bit shocked. "You, Commander? I expected Tom Paris  
to come to me with this."

Chakotay smiled. "He'd like to, but Harry knows he's up to something  
and is watching him carefully. So he..."

"Conned you into it, huh?"

Chakotay allowed the smile to reach his eyes. "Something like that."

Janeway put her hand on his arm. "You have my permission, Commander.  
Let's make it one for the books." Janeway did like a good party.

Now that the business of Harry Kim's birthday was out of the way,  
Chakotay made a show of looking around. "This is the planet we stayed  
on, when we had that virus."

Janeway smiled at him. "Yeah. Good reproduction, huh?"

"Excellent." He looked around a bit more. "Why?"

The captain didn't look him in the eye. "It reminds me of... a  
simpler time. Although I wanted desperately to get back to Voyager, I  
was happy here. No burdens, no decisions. It feels good to go back to it  
sometimes." She suddenly noticed that she had not removed her hand from  
his arm, and now she did.

Chakotay went to where the door to the holodeck would be. "It was a  
lovely planet," he said. "Computer, exit." The exit appeared, and Chakotay left.

***

The smile had left Janeway's face as she looked after her first  
officer. How many times had she told herself that while there were no  
regulations covering this, the captain had to stand alone? But then how  
many times had she remembered Mark, and the things they would do... only  
to have his face transmute into Chakotay's? How many times... had she run  
this damn holodeck program?!

The captain went back into the shelter and sat down. How many times  
had she sat at this table, remembering how those hands had felt on her  
shoulders? And how many times had she wished she had done something  
different that night?

But she hadn't. And she wasn't really sorry... except when she ran  
this program. This program brought it all back, everything, and yet she  
couldn't stop herself from running it, from coming back here. And every  
time, she found herself closer and closer to actively hoping that Chakotay  
would come in here, and understand? Would... what, sweep her into his arms  
and carry her off? No. That he would realise what this place meant, and do  
something about it. Because as the captain, she couldn't.

***

Chakotay sat in his quarters, in contact with his spirit guide. He needed to  
know if what he felt was real, or merely the aftereffects of being on that  
planet so long? Was this merely loyalty, or something else?

His animal guide answered him, and he wasn't sure if he should be happy  
or upset at the answer.

The holodeck wasn't being used at this time of night, so he didn't have  
to worry about explaining himself to anyone, he simply stepped up and ran  
the captain's program.

When the doors opened to allow him in, everything was as it had been when  
they'd been on that planet together. The shelter, the woods, the river...  
All that was missing was her, in the bathtub.

Chakotay pressed his commbadge. "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Janeway here." She didn't sound sleepy, but then he knew she often sat  
up at night, reading.

"Captain, can you meet me in the holodeck?"

"Now?" She sounded a bit surprised.

"If you wouldn't mind, yes."

"On my way."

***

It was a short wait. The captain arrived - wearing what looked to be a robe  
of some sort. He was just glad that she hadn't worn her Starfleet uniform.  
It was a start, and he got straight to the point as Janeway asked, "What can  
I do for you, Commander?"

"You can tell me... why you pulled away from me that night, why you  
closed yourself off from possibilities. Just the why, that's all."

Janeway sighed. "I'm the captain."

"I understand that, but you weren't the captain, back there." She hadn't  
been, anymore than he had been just the first officer.

"I wasn't ready to give up hope yet, Chakotay. Somehow, I felt that if I  
opened myself to possibilities, I'd be letting my life in Starfleet go. And  
I couldn't do it, not then. Later... it would have been possible, if we'd  
stayed. But we didn't, and that makes the point moot now, wouldn't you say?"

"Only if you say so," Chakotay offered.

"Please don't do this to me," Janeway said. She tried to walk past him  
and exit the holodeck, but he grabbed her by the arm.

"Do what to you, Kathryn?"

She looked at his hand on her arm - a hand which she could feel, right  
through the material of her shirt. A warmth that seemed to pervade where he  
touched her. "You know what." The look she gave made him let go, but he  
moved to block her path out of the holodeck.

"No, I don't know what. If I knew, I wouldn't be here."

Janeway squared her shoulders and looked up at him. "That luxury is  
unavailable to the captain."

"*What* luxury?" He was going to make her say it if he had to manually  
override the holodeck doors and keep her locked in here forever.

"The luxury of a relationship."

"Don't you mean love?" he asked. "Feelings, being attracted to someone?  
That's not a crime, and you're a person too."

"It doesn't matter what you call it, Commander, it isn't a possibility."

"Well, have you thought about this - that you're condemning me to the  
same self-imposed exile that you're condemning yourself to?" He looked into  
her eyes in all honesty.

Janeway stopped short. "What?"

"There's no point in your telling me that I should find someone of my  
own, someone to love. Because, Kathryn... *Captain*... I *have*. And telling  
me that it isn't possible doesn't change a damn thing."

Kathryn Janeway simply closed her eyes. "I..."

But Chakotay cut her off. "All right, I'll make a deal with you. You tell me   
you felt *nothing* that night in the shelter, and I'll never mention this again."

Janeway looked at him. "You know I can't."

"Then we're back where we started, unless something changes. Being back  
where we started is what I wanted to avoid."

She looked up at him. "I... I don't know if I can let go that way, if I  
can... let myself feel... not while we're on the ship." But her mere  
willingness to say it showed a slight capitulation.

Chakotay walked forward and loosened her hair from its ponytail. "Well,  
we're not on the ship now."

"We are, we..."

He touched her cheek, and again that warmth came flooding into her,  
obliterating all rational thought. "We're back on the planet," he whispered.  
"Believe me. Let your emotions believe it."

This time the captain didn't say anything, as she leaned upwards and her  
mouth sought his.

***

How they ended up sprawled across the grass, she didn't know. One minute she  
had felt him holding her, his mouth on hers, and the next... they were lying  
on the grass, and he was lying over her, his mouth open over hers, inviting  
her in, tasting her, touching her...

And oh how she had wanted this. Now, finally, she could admit it. How she  
had wanted this, yearned for it, for him. Finally he lifted his head to look  
down into her wide, startled eyes. "Do you believe it now, Kathryn?"

"Oh, yes," she replied. "I believe it."

"Tell me," he said then. "Say the words. Tell me what it is you want."

"You," she said, reaching up again, wanting to taste him again, wanting  
every sensation he could give.

But he didn't move, just looked down at her. "That's not very specific," he mused.

"I'm not feeling particularly specific," Janeway said, amusement in her  
voice and eyes. "Or scientific, for that matter. Or much like a ship's  
captain, or much like anything."

"What are you feeling?"

"Like a woman who wants you to make love to her." Kathryn Janeway would  
never forget the look in Chakotay's eyes when she said that; the tenderness  
that appeared, the happiness that seemed to well up there. But he still had  
to be sure. "You're positive?" he asked softly.

She said nothing; merely nodded, and Chakotay gave up any fight he'd been  
waging to maintain control over himself. He wanted her more than he had  
wanted anyone, ever. He would be glad to make love to her, be inside her,  
be a part of her... Their lips met again, opening to share all that they  
were.

Janeway's hand slid up under his shirt, glad that he hadn't worn his  
Starfleet uniform on this occasion. At her touch, Chakotay almost pulled  
away. Her hand was warm, so very warm, and he could feel the connections it  
made inside himself... He found himself undoing the sash that held the robe  
together, and though he was occupied elsewhere and couldn't see what she was  
wearing underneath, he felt it. Whatever it was, it was smooth and silky and  
not very long. He pulled it up, inch by inch, until he could slide his hand  
under it, feeling just more warmth, more softness, all the way.

At the feel of his hand, the captain tore her mouth away from his. "Now  
would be a good time," she said, trying not to make it sound like an order.

The first officer smiled that ironic smile he sometimes used in amusing  
situations. "Yes, ma'am," he said, working his way out of whatever clothing  
he still had on.

She looked up to find him leaning over her. "It's not..." she began, but  
her protest at being called "ma'am" was silenced by yet another kiss as he  
shifted until his entire body was pressed against hers and he could look down  
into her eyes and see the expressions there.

Janeway said nothing, but moved up against him, indicating assent. A  
momentary hesitation, and then he was inside her, and she was around him,  
and they were one.

The instant it happened, they both knew it was meant to be. They were  
meant to be together this way, to move together, to give each other  
pleasure, to feel the universe disappear until it was only just the two of  
them, and not even that. Until there was just one being with two parts,  
blotting out everything but what they gave each other.

***

"Bridge to Captain Janeway." Tom Paris's voice came over the commpanel.  
Janeway lifted her head from its comfortable resting place atop her first  
officer. "Janeway here. What is it, Mister Paris?" She pushed tangles of  
hair out of her eyes.

"We're approaching the coordinates the Talaxians gave us."

Janeway sat up. "All right, I'll be there in ten minutes." Chakotay had  
woken up, but had not said anything. Janeway allowed her gaze to encompass  
him, and smiled, looking down at herself. She was still wearing both her  
robe and her nightie. Her first officer touched the nightie, shaking his  
head. "That's not fair, you know."

"What isn't fair?"

"You got to see everything, and all I saw was your sleepwear."

Janeway planted a kiss over his tattoo and stood up. "Well, the next time  
I promise the sleepwear goes."

He stood beside her, serious now. "Next time?"

She nodded. "We'd better get to the bridge. And we won't tell the crew  
yet. But... perhaps you were right. My self-imposed regulations don't mean  
much here in the Delta Quadrant." She tied the robe... which was more of a  
kimono-type thing, suitable for lounging around in as well as to cover one's  
nightclothes. No wonder no one had made a comment about it while she had  
walked through the ship wearing it. "I'm going to change."

"Wait." Chakotay used his fingers to brush her hair back into place. "You  
can't wander around the ship looking like you got caught in an ion storm."

"Thank you. Computer, exit." The exit appeared, but she didn't move  
towards it. Instead, she leaned up and kissed him... a kiss full of  
promise... the promise of a next time... of many next times. Then she  
stepped back. "You were right, Commander." She gave him a captain's smile  
and left the holodeck.

Chakotay looked at the closed doors of the holodeck. "I'm always right,"  
he said with a smile before exiting.

THE END


End file.
